Fading Scars
by inhummus
Summary: "Fascinating," Maura whispered, taking a step closer, staring at Jane's hands. Jane took a step back. "Not exactly the words I would use." Jane and Maura meet late at night at the precinct, shortly after Jane's attack. Maura offers to help Jane with her bandaged hands. First Meet Rizzles. Takes place before the pilot.
1. Chapter 1

Fumbling with the door, Jane stumbled in to the lobby of the Boston Precinct. She cursed at her heavily bandaged hands, before jumping slightly as a voice from further inside the building called out, "Detective Rizzoli?"

"Hey Gary," Jane smiled at the security guard.

"Sorry, Detective. Didn't mean to startle you."

Jane winced as she watched Gary's eyes flick down to her damaged hands repeatedly. "Yeah, no, it's fine. Just stopping by to grab some paper work."

"You're, uh, doing alright, Detective?"

Jane offered him a pained smile back, attempting to fake it as she stepped through the elevator doors. "Never better. Should be back to work in no time."

Jane stared at her reflection as the elevator doors came to a close. She looked weathered, to say the least. It had been three weeks since the attack, and ten days since her release from the hospital. She clumsily attempted to push her hair out of the face, but her bandaged hand worked more like a paw. Jane hadn't realized how gaunt she looked. She had been avoiding the mirrors in her apartment.

She found that her unkempt hair was even more tangled than normal from days without combing. Her cheekbones shown more prominently from the stress and anxiety. Her once slim, but muscular, frame could now only be described as rail thin. The worst of it, and perhaps most obvious, were the dark circles under her eyes.

The doors opened as Jane took a deep breath. _Everything still smells the same, at least._ Jane wandered over to her desk and smiled as she saw it covered with Get Well Soon cards. She chewed on her lip as she noticed a card from Korsak was nowhere to be found. Had he returned to work yet? Should she have called him?

His visit to the hospital was hard. Jane was a mess, often waking up shaky and sweating. Korsak had walked in as a nurse had to push Jane back into the hospital bed, threatening to tie her down. Jane was so ashamed in her behavior, she could barely look him in the eye. She held back her tears until he left. She was mad at Hoyt for not only what he had done to her, but how he continued to terrorize her in her sleep.

Lost in the memory, Jane failed to notice the soft clacking of high heels hitting the tiled floor. Jane heard the door to Homicide open and all but fell over herself as she attempted to reach for a gun in a holster that wasn't there. Jane heard a surprised 'Oh!" as she clumsily slid down into a crouching position under her desk. Who the hell would be working this late?

Jane grasped around on the floor for some kind of makeshift weapon when she heard, "You startled me!"

Jane crinkled her eyebrows and slowly raised her head, looking for the source of the voice.

Jane found herself staring at the most glamorous woman she had ever seen. Despite the late hour, her hair was perfectly coiffed. She wore a green silk blouse tucked into a grey pencil skirt. Her heels appeared to cost more than what Jane made in a year. The woman held her hand over her beating heart as she tried to catch her breath.

Sensing she was no longer in danger, Jane switched gears. "Ma'am are you lost? How did you get in past security?"

The woman gave Jane a small look of disdain. "It's Dr. Isles. I'm sure I should be saying the same thing about you."

"Dr. Isles..." Jane trailed off, trying to remember why the name sounded so familiar. "Oh! _You're_ the new medical examiner?" she said incredulously.

"Yes," she said, losing her patience. "The new Chief Medical Examiner, actually. I was appointed two weeks ago from Cambridge."

Jane attempted not to roll her eyes. Cambridge? Oh yeah, the crime rate there must be out of control. What with people committing homicide over a bad spinning class. Perhaps their sushi wasn't its absolute freshest.

Maura appeared to read her face. "We had only two unresolved cases in the three years I was there. Higher than any precinct in the state."

Jane was about to grumble about numbers when she raised her hand to brush her eyebrow. She heard the woman gasp.

"Oh! You're Detective Rizzoli!" she exclaimed nervously, her eyes scanning Jane's hands and desk covered in cards. Jane noticed the woman flush as she stuck out her hand.

"Dr. Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts," she said quickly.

Jane stared at her confusingly, and then looked at her outstretched hand. "Uh, yes, I think we established that."

Maura blushed an even deeper shade of crimson, having realized not only that she had re-introduced herself, but that she had stuck out her hand for a handshake.

"I... oh." Maura stammered, attempting to recover, pulling her hand back sharply. "How - how are you? How are your hands? The palm was pierced all the way through?"

Jane looked up at her, surprised at her frankness. For a woman she had only just met, she certainly didn't seem to have any reservations asking about the most terrifying night of her life.

"The palm is a very interesting body part. It has no hair, no fingerprints, and no pigment. Though it is quite durable, it still is very sensitive."

Jane grunted. Sensitive felt like the biggest understatement of the year. Were this anyone else, she would have probably shoved them out the door. Jane had avoided all talk of her injuries thus far, much to her mother's chagrin. But for some reason, she didn't find herself angry at the doctor's comments. Her genuine curiosity left Jane both confused and intrigued. Dr. Isles appeared to have completely disregarded all norms of social practice. Instead she stared tentatively at Jane's hands, as if trying to get a better look.

"Yeah," Jane answered back, "All the way through."

"Fascinating," Maura whispered, taking a step closer.

Jane took a step back. "Not exactly the words I would use."

Jane's comment finally seemed to grab Maura out of her reverie. Maura snapped her head back, realizing that she had been staring at Jane's hands with an almost hungry expression.

"I'm so sorry, I..., " Maura cleared her throat, appearing to change tactics, "I find the human body extraordinary. The way the body responds to injuries is quite breath-taking. How often did your doctor recommend changing your bandages? They seem to be a little worn."

Jane attempted to hide her hands behind her back. The doctor had suggested once a day, but of course having two bandaged hands made the task near impossible to do on her own. She had suffered through five days of dealing with Angela or Frankie's ungrateful touch, before lying to the both of them that she had it covered. She knew it was stupid, but the pain was unbearable. Having to deal with her mother's attempts to baby her made it all the worse.

"Uh, haven't exactly been able to keep up with it. These bear paws don't make it easy," she said with a small smile, waving her hands in the air.

"You haven't been trying to do it yourself, have you?" Maura all but cried out in horror.

"I can only take so much of my mother's constant badgering."

Maura stepped closer. This time Jane didn't step back. Maura reached out tentatively, and Jane found herself bringing her hands up to meet Maura's, her body seeming to work on reflex.

"May I? I have everything you would need downstairs. I would hate to see the wounds get infected. They need to be cleaned regularly. And I promise to be very gentle."

"Oh yeah?" Jane asked, cocking an eyebrow. "You come highly recommended from your patients?"

Maura looked up as if to correct Jane before realizing that she was being teased.

"Quite. I've never had any complaints."

Jane watched Maura giggle at her own joke. She couldn't help but smile back; it might have been the first true smile in weeks. The doctor appeared quite tickled as she continued to stare at Jane.

"Honestly, I promise I'll very careful, Detective. And I won't badger. Scout's honor," she said, holding her fingers up in the air.

Jane nodded and followed the doctor towards the elevator, deciding that she needed to apologize.

"Sorry for being so surprised. About you being the Chief ME," Jane explained, off of Maura's curious look. They stepped into the elevator and made their way down to the morgue. "You're just not who I imagined when they said your name last month. You're so young!"

"33," Maura said matter of factly, "Youngest chief in Massachusetts's history."

"Wow.'

"You're one of the youngest detectives I've seen on homicide." Maura motioned to Jane to sit on the examining table. Jane gave it a wary look as she sat down, very aware that the last thing that was on the table had been dead. "Have you been on the force long?"

"Vice and Narcotics for a while. Just transferred to homicide last year..." Jane lost her voice as Maura shifted closer to her on a wheeled stool. Maura looked up, noticing Jane's silence.

"I was never good at bedside manner, but it helps to talk during the examination. Distract yourself."

Jane shrugged, holding her hand out. "It's alright. I don't mind the silence."

Maura nodded, happy with Jane's response. She gave Jane one more look before lowering her head to unwrap the bandages. Jane took the moment to observe the doctor's face while Maura was busy with her hands. Her perfectly curled eyelashes framed hazel eyes. Her lips were painted with a glossy shade of pink. If she stared closely enough, she could make out a dusting of freckles along the woman's nose. She was, objectively speaking, stunning. Every time Maura's eyes would flick up to see if Jane was alright, her stomach jumped a little.

As Maura prepared to remove the final padding that covered Jane's palms, she looked back at Jane, who was now staring at the ceiling.

"Are you alright, Detective?"

Jane swallowed, trying to keep the nausea at bay. "Call me Jane," she forced out. She hated seeing the wounds. It made her feel weak and frail. She tried to stop herself from asking the question, but she blurted out, "Will they be scars?"

Maura head snapped up, taken aback from the question. She seemed to waiver, attempting to decide the best way to answer, before simply going with the truth.

"Most likely, statistically speaking."

Jane stared dejectedly at her wounded hands, the center of her palm still grotesque to her. "I hate looking at them. It's just a constant reminder of that night. How am I ever suppose to get over this when it's always right on front of me?"

Maura gave her a somber look and rubbed her forearm, trying to think of anything comforting.

"Some scars fade."

* * *

**A/N:** I can't decide whether to make this a two-shot or a saga of their first year leading up to the pilot episode, lol. I know I'm not bringing anything new to the table per se, but I love thinking about how Jane and Maura would have behaved in the beginning. I know the show was never very clear on the timeline of when everything happens, but this is what I had always imagined. The flashback hooker scene makes me cringe a little, so I wanted to give it the rewrite I think the characters deserve.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Maura leaned over and grabbed a disconcerting brown bottle on the tray near her.

"I'm going to clean the wound... it's going to hurt."

Jane nodded and bit her lip, preparing herself. Tolerance for pain came with the job title. She had survived her fair share of scrapes and bruises before this point, and she knew nothing could compare to the first few days after the attack.

Maura pressed a cotton swab to the bottle and brought it to Jane's hands. The sharp burn caused Jane to lurch forward, her eyes watering on reflex. Her breathing became labored as she attempted to work through the pain.

"I'm so sorry," Maura said nervously, retracting her hand, "but it has to be cleaned. The risk for infection-"

"I know," Jane said, through gritted teeth. "Just do the other one before I change my mind."

Maura quickly moved to Jane's other hand, biting her lip as she heard Jane let out a small whimper. She dabbed and then pulled back, murmuring, "It's over, It's over."

Jane felt almost delirious from the burn. Her whole body had broken out into a cold sweat as she attempted to hold the pain in as best she could. They fell into silence as Jane watched Maura delicately re-wrap her hand; the only sound was Jane's breathing as she attempted to recover.

Still staring at her work, Maura asked, "Have you been sleeping alright?"

Jane jerked her head up at the question. _How did she know?_

"Traumatic events can often cause unsettling dreams. It's the brain's way of subconsciously manifesting what the victim has actively been attempting to avoid."

Shrugging, Jane avoided Maura's eye contact. "Yeah, haven't really been sleeping well." For a second Jane nearly considered telling Maura everything. How she purposefully kept herself up with caffeine pills and coffee in order to avoid her vivid dreams. How she would wake up in the middle of the night in a feverish sweat. Instead, Jane finished lamely with "Thanks" as she lifted up her hands in appreciation.

* * *

Jane rolled over to look at the time. 3:57 AM. With a loud sigh she punched her pillow into shape before dropping back with a resolute sigh. Despite her exhaustion, she couldn't get her mind to stop running. It kept going back to earlier that night. The doctor intrigued her; she was such a contradiction. Here was this beautiful, immaculately dressed woman who loved surrounding herself with death. Jane had made many snap judgments in an attempt to understand her, but each time she spoke, Jane realized just how complex the doctor was.

Jane eventually drifted off. She found herself down in the morgue, dressed for work. She was alone, waiting for the medical examiner to walk her through the autopsy. _Where is she? _Jane walked over to the body laying on the table. It was a GSW, run of the mill case. Jane knew it would most likely be chalked up to street violence. After another five minutes, Jane decided she was through waiting, and pulled off the white sheet covering the body.

She watched the sheet puddle to the floor, the harsh fluorescent lights making it difficult to determine the features. She moved closer, attempting to study the face. Jane felt her stomach leap to her throat as the face finally came into focus:_ Hoyt._

Jane stumbled backwards, clanging into the medical supplies, falling over as she attempted to pull open the door. She grabbed the door, wincing at the pain, and with an almighty wrench-

Jane sat up in bed, trying to catch her breath. She put her hand to her chest, her heart racing a mile a minute. The dream had felt so real. What surprised her most was how different it was from the others. Every other night she would wake up from the same dream: She was down in the basement as Hoyt loomed over her, rotating the scalpel between his fingers as he whispered into Jane's ear.

Jane propped herself up, running through the dream again in her head. How many more nights could she take of this? She walked over to the bathroom sink and splashed water on her face. She placed her hands along the counter and stared at herself in the mirror.

Jane hung her head. _Damn it!_ She had gotten so caught up with Dr. Isles, she had completely forgotten to pick up the paperwork she had originally gone in for. She looked back into the mirror. She would arrive to work early, before anyone would get there, so she could sneak in unnoticed. She wasn't ready to face them all yet. She couldn't handle their pitying looks as they attempted to avoid looking at her damaged hands.

All the same, she would hate to run into the medical examiner in her current state. So she leaned in and started the shower, just to be safe.

* * *

Maura silenced her 6:00 AM alarm. She stretched and then smiled, as last night replayed through her head.

She slid out of bed and padded over to the shower. It was strange. She had gone through such a gamut of emotions last night. From being startled, to indignant, to empathetic. Maura hadn't felt any of those emotions in years.

She had spent so long shutting herself off from most of the world. She had learned long ago that opening yourself up only allowed for disappointment. Instead she buried herself in her work. She found her happiness through art and fashion. She found people too unpredictable. The systematic process of an autopsy made her at ease. There were rules and expected outcomes. And she could help. She could find ways to bring justice.

And yet that night she had found herself in an entirely unexpected situation. She enjoyed it. Maura wondered when she would see the detective next. Given her injuries, Jane probably wouldn't be back to work for a few weeks.

Maura forced herself to push Jane from her mind as she stepped out of the shower. She had fallen behind on her work (well, behind by her standards) since she had decided to walk out with Jane rather than finishing up with her report. She quickly completed her morning routine in hopes to get to the office early and finish up.

She arrived at the precinct an hour later. She enjoyed the early mornings. Little distraction. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, she sat down to work. She had been helping Detective Crowe and Detective Korsak in their latest case. She confirmed that the victim had died of strangulation. She hoped the small particulates under the victim's fingernails would reveal something about the victim's killer.

At about 8:00, Maura made her way up to the café for an extra pick me up. As she turned to pour cream into her coffee, she heard a voice call out to her.

"Hey, Doc!"

"Detect- Sorry, Jane." Maura beamed. "What are you doing here?"

Maura found the detective looking refreshed compared to last night. True, she was still in sweatpants, t-shirt, and an open zip up hoodie (Maura noted that her damaged fine motor skills probably prevented her from wearing much else), but she appeared freshly scrubbed. Her curly hair was unruly, but no longer matted, and her face held an energy that she hadn't seen last night. Still, the dark circles under her eyes were noticeable.

"Completely forgot to pick up the paperwork I was here for last night," Jane said with a laugh, holding up a file in the crook of her arm. "It was the whole reason I was here."

Maura smiled. "A common occurrence. Going to the grocery store for peanut butter, and returning with everything but."

Jane scratched at the back of her head, ruffling her hair absentmindedly.

"I figured I would have gotten here before anyone arrived. Do you work all hours of the day?"

"Oh no, that would be impossible. Sheer exhaustion would kick in around day three or four without sleep. In fact, the..."

Jane smiled as the doctor continued to cite the ailments the body would face from lack of sleep. Jane knew she really should pay attention, considering how few hours a night she was receiving. Jane couldn't believe the doctor looked just as glamorous as last night.

"What?" Maura said, noticing Jane's eyes were on her black dress. She looked down at her dress. "Did I spill something?"

"Oh, uh, no. I was just wondering if you always looked like that."

"Like what?"

"Well, it's just that I never saw Dr. Anderson in anything but scrubs the whole time he was here."

"Oh, yes. I really enjoy fashion. It's amazing what people can envision, isn't it?" Maura said, smoothing out her dress.

Jane nodded dumbly. She couldn't even remember the last time she had been to the mall.

"Fashion allows me to express myself."_ In ways I can't do myself_. Maura racked her brain for something to say to keep the conversation going, "How are the bandages holding up?"

"Pretty good! They got a little wet this morning in the shower," Jane held them out, allowing Maura to inspect the damage. "But I think it's still better than when the doctor did them in the hospital."

"Oh," Maura said with a blush, "I don't know about that. But thank you."

Maura brought her hands up to Jane's, lightly running her fingers over the bandages.

"You should come back tomorrow, if you'd like."

Jane lifted her head at the comment, waiting for Maura to continue.

"I could keep wrapping them for you. That is, if you don't prefer someone else."

"No, no. That would be great... it's just that -" Jane sighed, trying to decide how much she wanted to admit. _Fuck it._ "I'm sort of... not ready to be here when everyone else is. I don't want them to see me like this."

Maura nodded quickly. "Of course, I know image and perception are very important. Especially in such a male dominated field." She pulled her hands away from Jane, realizing she had still been holding them. "6:30 in the lab tomorrow? No one's ever there past four."

Jane smiled. "Yeah, I'll be there. Thanks, Doc."

"And Jane?" Maura called out as Jane turned to go.

"Yeah?"

"Call me Maura."

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the support! I've gotten many requests for this to continue, so I'm going to give it a shot. I've basically promised myself to only write when I still think there's a story to tell, so I won't commit to a length yet.

Thanks again!


	3. Chapter 3

Jane loved the sound of her feet hitting the pavement. As she approached the corner of the street, she continued jogging in place. She roughly picked up the collar of her shirt and wiped the sweat across her upper lip. She felt the best she had in weeks. Honestly months, when she really thought about the sleepless weeks leading up to Hoyt's attack.

The light turned green and she continued on. She had spent the past four days visiting Dr. Isles in the morgue. The trips had given her a new sense of rejuvenation. It was something to look forward each day. Each trip she learned more and more about the doctor: how she went to boarding school abroad; how she came back to go to BCU before heading out to Africa to join Doctors Without Borders.

Jane caught her reflection in the store window. Even four days later, she looked better. Still just as skinny and still getting only a few hours of sleep a night, but now she found that each day had a purpose. She even invited her mother over this morning to help clean her apartment (_"Oh my... Jane! It's a pig sty in here!_). After sorting through the clutter, Jane asked her mother to tie her shoe laces and pull back her hair so she could finally go for a run. (_"Promise me. Just a walk, alright?"_). The wind beating against her face and chest was like a jolt of energy with every step.

She arrived at the BPD and delicately put her hands on her hips as she panted, waiting for her heart rate to go down before heading in. She had assumed during yesterday's meet up with Maura that she wouldn't get a chance to see her tonight. She figured anyone who dressed the way she did and grew up in such a socialite atmosphere must have three different parties to go to on a Friday night. She was surprised so see the look of disappointment in Maura's eyes when Jane said she would see her on Monday.

"Oh, you're not coming tomorrow?"

Jane turned back, taking in Maura's disheartened face.

"I just assumed... Friday night, you know. I figured you had plans."

Maura shook her head. "All free. I'm trying to finish up on these two autoposies so I won't have it looming over my head all weekend." Maura smiled, before her eyes widened. "Oh, unless you have plans of course?"

Jane cracked a smile. "Very free. Plus I'd hate to miss a day of this," Jane said, lifting her newly wrapped hand. "Don't know how I lasted this long without you. See you Friday."

* * *

Jane pushed the morgue doors open to find Maura bending over a body, taking notes on a clipboard.

"So the famous Dr. Isles actually wears scrubs, huh?"

Maura laughed. "Intestines and Prada clash."

"And she's got jokes!"

Maura blushed, trying to hide her elation. "Let's check out those bandages."

Maura and Jane chatted idly while Maura set to work. Maura could see that though the pierced skin was quickly healing, her hands were still covered with dark blue and deep purple bruises. She was used to seeing bruising of this caliber. She was not used to seeing it on a live body. She couldn't imagine the pain.

Maura noticed that Jane still looked up whenever Maura took off the last of the padding. They hadn't mentioned her confession from a few nights earlier. Of how she felt weak and vulnerable when she looked at them. Of how she was constantly reminded of that horrific night.

Maura had heard the rumors of what had happened. They had all seemed too terrible to believe, but the pain she saw behind Jane's eyes each time she unwrapped her bandages made her realize that the truth must be even worse. It was clear from Jane's body language that she had no interest in discussing it, but Maura's curiosity got the better of her and she examined the file one day. It read like a horror story. Hoyt, the maniacal villain; Korsak, the gruff and experienced Detective; Jane, the promising raw talent.

She finished wrapping up the bandages and gave a soft tap against Jane's left hand. "There."

"Thanks, Doc. Did I tell you I'm starting physical therapy next week? I -"

Jane was interrupted by a rustling behind the door. She leapt from the table and roughly pulled Maura behind her, making a face as the pain shot up her arms.

"No, no. Jane, it's okay. It's just the food."

"What?" Jane said, eyes frantically examining all corners of the room, her body still protectively hovering over Maura.

"It's the delivery guy," Maura stammered. "I - I thought it would be nice to grab dinner while we're here, given that it's Friday and all."

Jane finally locked eyes with Maura, her face still in a panic.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I dialed right before you arrived. I'm so sorry; I should have warned you. I hope you like Chinese." Maura walked over to the door, grabbing her purse along the way to pay the delivery boy.

Jane shuddered. It had felt so similar to the dreams she kept having; the one's with her and Hoyt alone in the morgue.

"Oh my God, Maura. This is a ton of food!" Jane said, as the delivery boy dropped off three large bags on the table.

"Well I wasn't sure what you liked, so..."

"So you ordered the whole restaurant?"

"No, just some of the more popular dishes," Maura replied, matter of factly. "The whole restaurant would be-" Maura caught Jane's eye and giggled.

Jane shook her head in disbelief and then laughed along with her.

"So," Maura said, holding out chopsticks, "General Tso or Kung Pao chicken?"

Jane felt the color drain out of her face. Her mouth fell open as she stared at Maura's outstretched hand.

' I..."

'Oh!" Maura exclaimed, withdrawing the chopsticks quickly. "I'm so sorry. I... a fork? Would that-" Maura stammered, trying to save the moment as she realized Jane couldn't hold a fork yet. "Can I help?"

Jane felt frozen. Showing Maura her palms seemed acceptable; she was a doctor after all. But having her help her eat... it was just too pathetic. She was afraid of the follow-up questions. She knew Maura would be concerned at how she's made it up until now. She could take one look at her sharply defined cheekbones and shoulders to realize she was malnourished.

Jane refused to have help eating, even from her family. She'd been surviving mostly on shoveling an upturned bag of chips into her mouth. She knew it was terrible, but she wanted to maintain a shred of dignity. It was too pathetic. Too pitiful.

Jane stood up abruptly, deciding the only solution was to get out.

"Oh god, you know, I totally forgot. I promised my Ma I'd be at her place tonight. Just - just completely skipped my mind." Jane continued to back away, running into tables and knocking over medical supplies as she rushed to the door. "I, uh, I'm really sorry. I'll definitely pay you back. God, I'm going to be so late. I'll see you around, okay?"

And just like that, Jane was gone. Maura felt the guilt overwhelm her. How could she be so stupid? _Chopsticks?_

Maura shook her head in frustration. Here it was. Another potential friendship she screwed up. Maura slowly started packing the Chinese food back into the bag. She knew she had embarrassed the detective when she offered to help. It was obvious Jane prided herself on being independent and strong.

_God, what if she didn't come back?_ Maura had begun to look forward to her late afternoon visits. Jane was fascinating. It amazed Maura how Jane could draw such sound conclusions from her report. Her theories almost always helped narrow down her testing the following day. True, they were mostly hunches and assumptions, but Maura could tell that Jane's brain worked in an extraordinary way, pulling pieces of information together to come up with the motive and murder weapon.

Maura gleaned that Jane was much more than just an impressive detective. She also seemed empathetic. Most detectives Maura had worked with simply shut down all emotion. It was the easiest way to handle the job. But Jane seemed use her emotion to fuel her. She grew attached, and used that as the motivation she needed to close the cases. For being so young, her record was remarkable.

Maura dropped her head in her hands. She wanted to make this right. Jane would be back to work in a few weeks, and she was adamant to make sure there would be no awkwardness between them. She had to find a way.

* * *

Jane stood outside the precinct Monday morning, shaking her hands slightly as she prepared to walk in. She had been replaying Friday evening all weekend. She was embarrassed by all of it. Of how pathetic she must have appeared. Of how rude she was by abruptly leaving. Jane chewed the inside of her cheek before finally setting her shoulders back, and walking in.

As she walked down the hallway to the morgue doors reciting her apology, she heard what sounded like the rev of a car motor. _What the hell?_

Jane creeped up the door, reminding herself again and again in a low whisper. "This is not a dream. This is not a dream."

Jane approached the window through the door cautiously. Maura appeared to be bending over something. Jane's curiosity got the better of her and she pushed open the doors.

At the sound of the door opening, Maura turned around, revealing a blender. Jane's heart swelled.

"Jane. Hi." She smiled and placed a large tumbler in front of her with a straw. "Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, yogurt, orange juice, wheat germ, and flaxseed. It's a great source of protein. And tasty, I swear."

Jane smiled back with watery eyes. She leaned down to take a sip as Maura poured herself a glass.

"You know, I've been meaning to start a juice cleanse for the longest time. They're amazing. It's suppose to do wonderful things for your digestive system. It rids the body of so many toxins."

Jane couldn't even form words. She was so touched by Maura's thoughtfulness. Leave it to Dr. Isles to come up with something hands-free and healthy. And to make it sound like Jane had inspired Maura had to do it.

Maura looked at her tentatively, hoping she had made up for her blunder on Friday.

Jane was quiet for a few moments, taking sips of her smoothie.

"Going two whole days without you was rough," Jane finally said with a smile, lifting her hands up to show her worn bandages. "Look at the state of these things."

* * *

**A/N:** Hope y'all enjoyed. I'm planning to bring Jane back to work shortly and have her and Maura a little at odds as they come to understand their working relationship. Very excited!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thanks for all of the follows and reviews! I'm truly grateful that you're enjoying this.

I wanted to give a small warning for this story. I plan to include Detective Frost as a new character that Jane will be meeting shortly. Along with everyone else, I was absolutely devastated to hear of Lee's tragic passing. I felt like it was important to show Frost as a character here, because I think he would have had a profound impact on Jane's recovery. I just wanted to let people know, because I know how hard it was for me to watch the episodes that aired after Lee's death. He will definitely be missed.

* * *

"I think my fingers are going to fall off," Jane complained.

"Oh Jane, that's highly unlikely. Physical therapy still going well?"

It had been two weeks of physical therapy. Or as Jane liked to call it, Hell. She spent hours each day working with an overly chipper Stephanie, who seemed to have a smile painted on her face at all times. Jane had spent the earlier part of the week doing clay modeling and squeezing stress balls, which hadn't been all that bad. Unfortunately for her, Stephanie was so impressed with her progress that she moved Jane up to the next level. Jane spent all week struggling with snaps, zippers, and buckles.

The mental frustration was easily the worst part of it. She had spent all day cursing as she worked to get an over-sized button through a hole. All the while Stephanie smiled. The irony of it all was that Jane couldn't even smack her if she wanted to.

"Doctor says the bandages will come off tomorrow. Wounds have finally scabbed over."

"Oh that's wonderful!" Maura exclaimed.

"Yeah..." Jane looked down. Did this mean she would no longer have a reason to stop by?

"Do they feel sore?"

Jane nodded. "Couldn't get them to stop shaking. I'm currently at war with a big yellow button."

"May I see?"

Jane was hesitant, but her curiosity won over. She gave a small nod and held out her hands.

Maura slowly and cautiously threaded her fingers through Jane's.

"Tell me if this hurts."

Jane could only swallow in response. Maura laced her fingers into Jane's and lightly pushed her fingers back, stretching out the palm. Jane inhaled sharply at the pressure. Her wrist and toes felt tingly, as if all of the blood has rushed from there back to her rapidly beating heart.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Jane choked out. "Wow, that feels incredible."

Maura smiled as she curled her fingers around the back of Jane's palms and pulled forward.

"And this?"

"Even better." Jane watched in silence as Maura continued to delicately stretch her hand. "So, you speak five languages, went to medical school, _and_ you're a certified physical therapist?"

Maura laughed. "Hardly. I just studied techniques online earlier this week," she said quickly, her face reddening.

"So guess what?" Jane prompted, smiling at Maura's remark.

"I never guess."

Jane rolled her eyes and smirked. "You are impossible."

"She says to the woman giving her a hand massage?"

"That's right," Jane said with a laugh. "I'm going to talk to Cavanaugh tomorrow morning."

"About when you'll be back?" Maura asked, using a small circular movement across each finger.

"Yeah." Jane paused for a few moments, before confessing, "I'm going to ask for a new partner."

Maura stopped her ministrations and looked up. "But why? Detective Korsak seems like one of the bests."

Nodding along in agreement, Jane shrugged her shoulders. "Just time. I'm going to see if Cavanaugh will let me run my own team."

Maura raised her eyebrows at the comment. Jane was already one of the youngest on the force. She was coming off of a nearly two month medical leave, and still she was going to push for team lead. She had such tenacity. Such confidence. Maura could only shake her head in amazement.

Despite her happiness for Jane, Maura couldn't help but worry. True she looked better and better each day, but there was such tiredness in her eyes. That exhaustion remained there no many how jokes and sarcastic comments she made. Maura could tell that Jane was still only getting a few hours of sleep a night. She wasn't sure how much longer Jane's body could take it. She knew working full time would only exasperate it.

Giving Jane's fingers a small squeeze, Maura whispered, "Good luck."

* * *

"I don't know, Rizzoli. We've got a few detectives that have been here much longer than you. Like Crowe-"

"But I've got more arrests." Jane argued. "Closed more cases than him and Tanner combined."

"That's true, " Lieutenant Cavanaugh said, rubbing the back of neck. He had recently been promoted, and didn't want to cause any bad blood among the precinct. Still, she had a point, so he tried another angle.

"Why do you want to move out from Korsak? Vince is a good guy. I thought the two of you got along pretty well."

Pulling the sleeves of her sweater past her bruised hands, she chewed on her lip. She knew this question was coming. How could she tell him that the real reason was that Korsak couldn't trust her. Not after seeing her like that. So broken and helpless. She didn't want to see that look in his eyes ever again.

"We did - that is, we do. It's just that... I need to start this year off right. I'm ready for this, Lieutenant. I won't let you down."

"Rizzoli, I can't avoid the obvious question." Cavanaugh took a deep breath, knowing that treading carefully would get him nowhere. "Your hands. You can't shoot a gun. I can't put you out there if you're a risk to yourself or others. It's not fair to you or your team. I'd stick you on paperwork, but..." Cavanaugh trailed off uncomfortably.

Jane pulled the sleeves down further and grew defiant.

"I'm still just as good as a detective as I ever was. I won't go on any busts, but I can still help. I can put the evidence together to find a motive. I can still interrogate. I can-"

Cavanaugh waved his hand to silence Jane, suddenly realizing that he just might be able to solve his current staffing issue.

"You win, Rizzoli. This is what we'll do. I'll give you your own team. You're going to take this Frost kid, alright? Just started. I think you'll be good for him."

Jane was hesitant. Cavanaugh appeared to be holding in a laugh. What kind of moron were they sticking her with? Still, she knew she wasn't in a position to argue.

"When do I start?"

* * *

"What's all this?"

Jane dropped a large Tupperware on the doctor's desk.

"My Ma's famous lasagna. Best you've ever had."

Jane placed two bowls in front of the them as Maura peeled open the lid. Maura gave her a curious look as she scooped lasagna into both of them.

"I'm starting work on Monday. Team lead. Figured we should celebrate."

Maura gasped in delight. "We'll finally be working together!"

Jane nodded as she pulled the bowl closer to her. "And that's not all. Watch this."

Jane reached into the bag and pulled out a fork. She was still unable to hold it normally between her fingers, but she had found a workaround. Grabbing it as if it were the handlebars of a motorcycle, she stabbed it into the lasagna and took a bite.

"Look at you!"

"Ah, come on. It's not like I'm turning water into wine or anything."

"Jane, don't you dare minimize it. This is a big moment."

Jane smiled, inwardly very happy with Maura's reaction. "Go on, have a bite."

Maura happily complied. She listened as Jane retold her experience with Korsak. She couldn't help but be reminded of the dining room scene from Beauty and the Beast as Jane scooped the pasta up awkwardly.

It was one of her favorite stories growing up. She always felt like she could relate to Belle; interested in reading, deemed an outcast by her peers. Despite the way she was treated, Belle stayed true to herself and eventually found the love and companionship Maura always felt she deserved. Maura found herself comparing Jane to the Beast. Rough on the outside, but a kind and gently person once you got to know her. She couldn't help but smile.

"What?" Jane asked, realizing that Maura was staring and no longer listening. "Do I have something on my face?" Jane asked, knowing full well she had made a mess.

There was red tomato sauce all over her chin. Laughing, Maura leaned over and wiped her napkin across Jane's lips.

"Just a bit."

Jane grinned. "I don't know, I think it was kind of a good look on me."

As they continued to chat, Maura began to worry about the prospect of working with Jane. Most detectives didn't come down to the morgue too often. They seemed perfectly content to wait and read Maura's reports from the comfort of their own desks. Would Jane be the same way? From the bodies Maura had shown her thus far, Jane appeared to be drawn to the gore. The grosser, the better.

She hoped she would come down often. She hoped it wouldn't change the friendship they had formed so far. Maura had made the unwise decision of dating coworkers in the past, which was never a good idea. Even when the relationship was going well, it seemed that their working relationship would suffer. _But were not dating,_ Maura reminded herself. Those rules don't apply.

Again, Jane drew Maura out of her thoughts.

"They're setting me up with some new kid. Frost, I think it was?"

"Oh, yes! We sat through the same orientation class. I haven't seen him since."

"Hmm," Jane said, wiping her chin again. "They way Cavanaugh said his name makes me worried. I hope he's not a huge dolt."

"Jane, he got into homicide. He's obviously not."

Jane grunted in response. "Then you obviously haven't met all of the detectives in homocide."

Maura shook her head and laughed, "Jane!"

"Oh you know it's true. Have you met Crowe yet?"

"Ahh, yes. He's a bit..."

"Terrible?"

"I was going to say a handful. But I could describe you the same way."

Jane gasped in fake disgust and tossed her napkin at Maura.

"I guess I should get going." Having no reason to come back now that her bandages were gone, Jane found she had no excuse to see her for the rest of the week. "See you Monday? Hopefully not over a dead body."

Maura smiled. "See you Monday."

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed the fluff! I'm getting ready to delve more into Jane's nightmares, so were bringing on the angst shortly. Hope all of you are ready for the slow burn.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Never know when it's necessary to give a trigger warning, but please know that there is some violence in this chapter. I hate to divulge where the chapter is going, so I probably won't announce anything after this. Just be forewarned. Thanks!

* * *

Jane groaned as her phone went off.

"Really?"

Struggling to untangle herself from her sheets, Jane finally freed a hand to grab her phone.

"Rizzoli."

Jane threw her head back against the pillow. Looks like there would be no easing in to her first day.

"Ok. Where?" Jane ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah. Be right there."

Jane swung her feet around and stumbled into the bathroom, wiping the sleep from her eyes. She looked into the mirror and let out a sigh. God she looked awful. She scrummaged around through her bathroom drawers. She knew there was a half used bottle of concealer somewhere in there.

"Yes!" she said as she found the bottle. She unscrewed the cap only to find the contents inside were completely congealed. "Shit."

Giving up on hiding her under eye circles, Jane threw on her blazer and slacks (after a short, but ultimately successful, battle with her zipper and button). She opened up her drawer in the living room to pick up her gun and badge and frowned as realized the gun was no longer there. Sighing, she scooped up the badge and made her way to the unmarked police car waiting outside of her apartment.

"Detective Frost?"

Jane found herself staring at a well built, attractive African-American man. He looked about seventeen. She bit her tongue to stop herself from asking for his license.

"Hi. Nice to meet you, Detective Rizzoli. Looking forward to being on your team."

Jane smiled and nodded. She was still trying to take him in. Why was Cavanaugh so happy to put them together? He seemed nice enough. He briefed Jane on the body that had been found in the early hours of the morning, and Jane confirmed he at least had a reasonable head on his shoulders. She decided to wipe away whatever bad connotations she had of him and start with a clean slate. After all, he appeared to be doing the same for her; Jane was happy to see he had kept his eyes on the road and not on her bruised hands.

"So Narcotics, huh? I was there for three years. How'd you go from there to homicide so quickly?"

Frost smiled and shook his head. Jane was shocked by his modesty. Not a common trait in their line of work.

"I've bounced around a bit. I was in robbery for a year and then cold cases before switching over. They seem to have a hard time placing me."

"God, you just look so young."

Frost gave a pained smile. "Yeah, I get that a lot. Can't quite seem to knock the nickname 'kid'."

They pulled up to the crime scene and Jane took a deep breath. Here she was. Back on her home turf. So why did she feel so uncomfortable?

"Detective Rizzoli?" Frost cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Do you want me to survey the scene? I'll ask around and see if we have any witnesses."

Jane gave him a curious look and then nodded. "Sure, I'll check out the body."

Jane suddenly felt her stomach flip. There was Dr. Isles, crouching over the body taking notes. Her hair shone in the sunlight, fluttering slightly in the wind. As beautiful as the doctor appeared under the harsh morgue lights, out here she was radiant. She looked up and caught Jane's eye, smiling.

Jane felt her chest tighten. _What the hell is going on?_

"Detective Rizzoli," Maura said smiling, with a small nod of the head.

Jane flashed a big smile back.

"Hey."

All of a sudden Jane forgot where she was. She found herself staring at Dr. Isles like a goon.

"Dr. Isles," said a member from her team. "Should we flip him?"

Both women were brought out of the moment as Maura frantically told them to stop.

Jane turned around to look for Frost, figuring this would make a good teaching moment. She found him a few yards off, apparently talking to himself. It looked as if he was psyching himself up.

"Hey, Frost. Come over here."

Jane saw a nervous look in his eyes as he made his way to the body, still muttering to himself.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, no problem."

"Ok, come a little closer to the body. You can see the rigor mortis has already-"

"Jane," Maura said, stepping closer, "You're a bit close to the body."

Jane gave her a look. Did she really think this was her first time at the rodeo?

"I know what I'm doing, Doc."

Maura pursed her lips at the nickname. Every bone in her body wanted to throw out her arm and demand they get back, but she felt like she was navigating through uncharted territory with Jane. How do you reprimand a friend? They were friends, right? Or had they suddenly shifted to coworkers?

"Alright, Frost. So what does the slice in his neck tell you?"

All of a sudden, Jane heard a retching sound. Before she could do anything, Frost had upheaved what appeared to be his lunch. The majority of it landed on her feet, but a bit of it splattered across the body's torso.

Maura gasped, followed quickly by a shriek.

"Step back, Detective!" she said forcefully.

Detective Frost attempted to apologize, but instead retched again.

"Get back! Now! You've just contaminated evidence. Do you have any idea-"

Jane pulled Frost back a few feet and patted his back as he leaned over.

"You okay, man?"

Frost nodded and attempted to take a deep breath.

Jane shook her head. _Incredible. They assign me up with a murder detective who can't look at a dead body. Un-fucking-believable._ Jane turned back to Maura, who was still going on about the contaminated evidence, her face reddening by the second.

"Hey, hey," Jane said, trying to get a word in, "I know, you're right. But it was just an accident, okay? These things happen."

"These things happen?" Maura seethed. "I told you that you were standing to close. Even if he hadn't thrown up, being that close to a body..." Maura shook her head, finally lost for words.

"I get it, Doc, alright?" Jane lowered her voice to a whisper. "The kid already feels bad enough. You don't have to beat him up about it. I'll make sure it never-"

"Beat him up? That's not my job, Detective. That's yours." Maura gave another exasperated sigh and turned to a member of her team. "We need to remove this immediately. Detective, please wait behind the caution tape."

"Are you kidding me? You can't do that!"

"Watch me."

Jane and Maura stood at odds on either side of the body, lost to the rest of the world as they stared one another down. Jane could feel the heat practically radiating off her body.

Frost cleared her throat. "It's no problem, Dr. Isles. I'm so sorry. We'll be behind the tape."

"Like hell we won't!" Jane exclaimed turning on him. "You're being ridiculous. You can't pull that kind of rank."

Jane said it having no idea if it was true. Could an ME force her out of the crime scene? Jane stewed, realizing the Chief ME probably could. She didn't want to stick around to find out; Jane was sure Maura knew the rules of seniority.

Jane turned and grabbed Frost and dragged him back to the car, muttering "Fucking ridiculous" under her breath.

Jane sat in the car steaming. Before Frost could apologize, Jane shout out, "Seriously? How the hell did you wind up in homicide?"

Frost hung his head in shame. "I'm so sorry. I should have told you. I just, I thought I could conquer it."

Jane saw the shame and embarrassment in his face. She softened a little, realizing that this day was much worse from him than it was for her.

"It's - it's alright. Hey, shit happens, okay? You just got to brush it off. My first day," Jane threw her head back with a laugh, "I tripped over the gun left at the scene. Totally missed it. There was a bright orange cone right next to it and everything. Didn't hear the end of it. Not only because it was embarrassing, but also because the gun was still loaded. Imagine if it had gone off?"

Frost cracked a small smile. "Thanks. I promise, I won't get too close next time. And I'm trying to get over it."

"Well, no better way than to stick your feet in. We'll go down to the morgue this afternoon to apologize. If we do it well, I think Maura will let us take a look at one of the bodies. Will start with a simple gunshot wound, alright? Just a run of the mill GSW."

Frost nodded furiously. "Ok, sure." He finally took his gaze off the steering wheel and looked over at Jane with determined resolve.

Jane smiled at his clean-shaven face, "I would recommend a beard. Half the detectives in the precinct can't grow one worth anything. That'll make them stop with the 'kid' nonsense. Honestly, I would if I could."

Frost laughed. "Thank you. That's not a bad idea."

* * *

Jane decided to head down to the lab early to pre-apologize to Maura. She figured it would be pretty embarrassing to ask for forgiveness in front of Frost only to be turned down.

She found that Maura was not in the morgue nor in her office. As Jane couldn't do paperwork and was effectively useless until Maura wrote her autopsy report, Jane decided to wait in her office until she returned. She had put Frost upstairs to start running through the witnesses statements. She hadn't given him much instruction, but she had her head elsewhere. Hopefully he could redeem himself after this morning's disaster.

Maura's small couch in her office seemed to be staring at Jane with wanton eyes. Jane sighed and took a seat, throwing her head back as she thought back to this morning. While she wasn't willing to take all the blame for their argument, she knew being on the ME's bad side would not be good for her. She had pissed off Dr. Anderson once and had to wait a full week before he did gave her the results of the Y-incision. She shook her head at the injustice of it all.

The minutes ticked by as Jane waited. She suddenly felt the exhaustion kick in. It had been the most activity she had in nearly two months. Jane figured it couldn't hurt to close her eyes, just to rest them for a small while...

Jane was back in the morgue, this time laying of the examining table. She was covered with a white sheet.

"Jane," she heard his voice sing, in barely a whisper. "Don't hide. You know it only makes it worse."

Jane felt the sheet being pulled from her body. Hoyt loomed over her, wielding his scalpel between his fingers. She was frozen, as if her body was in rigor mortis. Hoyt leaned closer, breathing into her ear.

"You know, I'm never really gone Jane. Always here." Dragging the dull, flat edge of the scalpel along her throat, Hoyt continued to whisper in her ear. "You know, the one thing I regret is that you didn't get to fight back. Didn't feel like a real fight. And you know I'm a gentleman, Detective. I respect social norms. I am a doctor after all."

Jane continued to try to move. Despite the fact that she was not restrained in anyway, she was still unable to move.

He flipped the blade over and Jane felt the sting on the base of her throat. "Your hands are free, Jane." He leaned in closer, inches from her ear. "Why aren't you fighting back?"

Jane felt herself straining, trying to get away from the blade, but she was stuck, as if held back by some kind of force field.

"Even with your hands free, I'm here, in control. You can't fight back, Jane. I'm under your skin."

Hoyt grabbed her arm and took the scalpel, raising it above his head in preparation to slam it down into her palm. The blade grew nearer, and Jane tried to twist away, straining to move before-

"Jane!"

Jane awoke to find Maura hovering over her with concerned eyes. Jane's hand was wrapped around Maura's wrist, dragging Maura down, her face only inches from Jane's.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope the tension sat okay with everyone!

I've had a few people asking me if there will be rizzles moments considering I'm attempting to stick to a (somewhat) accurate storyline. I sort of wanted to hear from y'all. I'm thinking of adding rizzles moments akin to what we have in the show now, only we get to look into Jane and Maura's thought process as they go through them. I also foresee a small "almost moment" between the two of them.

Anyway, let me know what you think. I certainly don't want to disappoint, though I know I can't please everyone. Anyway, enough from me. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Jane's strong grip pulled Maura down, forcing her to bend over. She was so close she could see her own reflection in Jane's eyes.

Scanning her face, trying to understand, she asked "Jane, are you alright?"

She felt the pressure from Jane's hand slack, but it did not let go.

Maura placed her free hand at the base of Jane's head, willing her to focus on the present.

"Jane?"

At last Jane's eyes focused on Maura's face. Her breathing was still sharp. If Maura hadn't caught her fitfully asleep moments before, she would have sworn Jane had just run a mile.

"Maura..." Jane came to realize her left hand was still holding Maura's right. She let go. "Oh, god I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?"

Maura felt Jane lift her arm, examining her wrist for any bruising.

"No, no. I'm fine." Maura said, waving her arm in the air for proof. "Was it just a bad dream?"

Maura could tell that the comment stung. She hadn't intended for it to.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. They're always so... life-like."

Maura nodded enthusiastically, trying to emphasize that the dream didn't belittle Jane's feelings. "PTSD is known to manifest itself in dreams. The subconscious is trying to find a way to deal with the suppression. The results can be terrifying."

Jane swallowed thickly, attempting to wipe the sweat from her clammy bands against her slacks.

"I, uh, came down here to apologize about this morning."

The forced shift in conversation did not go unnoticed by Maura.

"It's fine, Jane. I -"

"No, it's not. You warned me to stay back and I didn't. You then gave orders which I challenged. We compromised the evidence. It's inexcusable. Especially as team lead."

"Apology accepted." Maura twisted her hands, deciding that apologizing herself was probably the proper thing to do. "I... I may have overstepped. I'm sorry for that."

Jane raised an eyebrow and smirked. "No you're not."

Maura smiled. She paused, working to explain her logic, as even the smallest of lies caused her to go vasovagal. "Well I am sorry it caused a rife between the two of us. Especially on your first day back."

Jane waved her concerns away.

"Listen, I was planning on bringing Frost down to apologize. I'm hoping, provided you'll accept his apology, I know he's not nearly as good looking as I am-" Maura blushed "- that you'll let us take a look at one of the bodies. Preferably a gunshot wound or something simple. I promise we'll stay back," Jane said with a smile. "I'll make him bring in binoculars if it makes you feel better."

Maura shook her head, but laughed. "I've got a Jane Doe that came in yesterday morning. Preliminary observations suggest drug overdose, so there's no visible wound."

"That's perfect! Ok let me go grab him. I left him to rifle through the paperwork. Only good thing about these things is avoiding the filing" Jane said, holding up her hands.

Maura's expression changed. "Have they been feeling alright?"

Jane stared down at them, stretching and making a fist.

"They always tingle after I wake up."

"What do you dream of?"

Maura could sense a shift in the air at her comment. She was so terrible at filtering herself. She should apologize. What the hell was she-

"Him. Hoyt." Jane said, her face deadpan.

Maura fidgeted, willing Jane to say more. She waited, trying to sense what Jane needed. God she wished she was better at this. Perhaps if she reached out and gave her a reassuring pat? She had read physical contact was strongly linked to emotional well-being and development. How could she touch her? Where should she touch her?

While Maura wrestled inwardly with putting a hand on Jane's shoulder, Jane continued.

"I used to always be in the basement. That's where I found him that night," she explained. "That's where he pinned me down... now it's always in the morgue. Ever since that first time where you helped me with my hands. Normally I find him on the examination table. But today, I was on the table. He found me."

Jane took a deep breath and continued, "The dream always ends with him in my face. He's always got a hold of me."

Without thinking, Maura reached out and placed her hand on Jane's forearm. She gave it was she hoped was a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm so sorry, Jane. That must be horrible. I wish there was something I could do."

Maura felt a stirring in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to wrap her arms around her. She wanted to place her hand back to at the base of her head again, her thumb lightly stroking her cheek, her fingers sliding through her dark, curly locks. She paused, willing herself to reach out. But a sense of rejection was all to familiar to her. The few times she had put herself out there were terrifying. She could remember trying to join up with groups at field trips, attempting to find a lunch group. She had always been tolerated, never wanted.

"No, it's fine." Jane said, taking a step back. Maura fingertips fell from Jane's arm. "Eventually it'll pass. I just need to focus on work, finally have something else that will get my mind off of it.

Maura pursed her lips, willing herself to stay quiet. She was doubtful the distraction would help. Jane needed to confront her feelings. The only thing work would do is lead to further exhaustion.

"I better head upstairs and see what Frost is up to. We'll come back down this afternoon, okay?"

Maura furrowed her eyebrows, but nodded at her comment. She wanted to find some reason for Jane to stay, but could think of none. As she watched Jane turn, Maura thought back to this morning. She had spent the rest of her time at the crime scene absolutely livid. She was furious at Jane, but even more furious with herself for allowing her judgment to be compromised. Why did Jane have such a hold on her?

Maura sat at her desk and pulled out her preliminary file on the victim. The more she tried to concentrate on the file, the less focused it became; Jane continued to invade her thoughts.

The Jane Maura saw just moments ago had reminded her so much of the first time they had met. She found herself oddly upset at Jane's recovery. She of course wanted Jane to feel better, and she was astounded at what progress she had made so far, but she realized that with each moment Jane grew stronger, the less Jane needed her.

Maura chided herself for being so childish. She should be happy and supportive of the progress Jane had made, but all she could think about was Jane's calloused and scarred hands in hers.

* * *

"Whoa."

Jane found Frost upstairs using the large projection screen. He had already pulled up the top three suspects and created a timeline of the murder and their stories.

"Hey, Jane. Just got off the phone with LeAnn Millsworth. She's quite a talker. Gave me her entire day and then some. But she looks to have a solid alibi at the time of the murder."

"Frost, this is..." Jane was at a loss for words. The amount of data that Frost had been able to pull in such a short time was astounding. "How'd you get all this information?"

"Ahh just worked my way into the school's database. Helped me get the basics."

Jane smiled. So he was a computer wiz. That would explain his quick jumps from department to department. Great mind, little experience, so no one knew what to do with him. No one had taken the time to train him, and she was sure after he exposed his weak stomach that most of the officers would have written him off. Jane was determined to get him past it.

"We've got three people who stand out so far and would have had access to the school grounds at this time. LeAnn Millsworth, the office administrator; Steve Erickson, the headmaster; and the victim's wife, Elena Lipton. LeAnn reported that the victim had an extra set of keys at the house-"

"Jane?"

Jane turned at the sound of the gruff voice. It had only been two months, but Korsak looked like he had aged five years. Jane noticed a significant weight gain as well.

"Vince. Hey."

They stood for a moment, unsure if they should hug. Korsak looked up and saw the case on the board. He then looked over to Frost, who smiled nervously.

"You're with him now?"

"Yeah, you know, just felt like it was time to lead my old team," she dropped her voice lower and leaned in. "Honestly, Vince. It wasn't personal or anything. I just needed to start fresh."

Korsak nodded stiffly. He clearly didn't like the answer, but he wasn't going to pry. "Are you... feeling okay?"

Pulling the sleeves of her blazer down in attempt to cover her still bruised hands, Jane shrugged. "I'm getting there. Listen, at the hospital..." Jane trailed off, both unsure and unwilling to finish the sentence.

"Yeah," Korsak said understandingly, "I know."

Jane nodded back. They knew each other past words. She could see that he was still unconvinced of her reasoning, but he knew she wasn't ready to be pressed about it.

"Heading to The Dirty Robber tonight. You should join." Korsak gave one last look at Frost as he turned to leave and said under his breath so only Jane could here, "Make sure the kid gets a fake so he can join."

Jane laughed and shook her head as he walked away. There was hope for them yet.

* * *

Jane wrapped her hands around her chilled beer glass, relishing the cool feeling against her palms. Closing her eyes, Jane let out a sigh as the end of the day finally washed over her. She was absolutely exhausted. She checked her watch once more, deciding if Korsak didn't show up in the next five minutes, she was going home.

"Hey."

Jane opened her eyes to find Maura smiling at her.

"Is this seat taken?"

Jane shook her head and brushed off the bar stool before Maura sat down. Somehow she didn't think she'd be leaving anytime soon.

* * *

**A/N**: Well the people have spoken! It was pretty unanimously pro-rizzles, so I'll definitely be including more of those moments. I apologize to those of you that cited "First Meet Rizzles" in the summary. I had written that back when this was initially a two-shot. As I now intend to head in that direction, I'll keep it there.

Now I will mention that I plan to get there gradually and with a lot of denial. My worry is that by hooking them up too soon I'd be following (the far more excellent) This Time I'm Not Leaving Without You by Goldflecks a little too closely. If you haven't read it yet, shame on you (fair warning, she hasn't updated it since January). I plan to focus more on the emotional journey, so hopefully it can feel like its own story.


	7. Chapter 7

Three days later, Jane strode into Maura's office with a sloppy grin on her face. She swaggered over to the doctor's desk and threw down a piece of paper.

"Pretty impressive, don't you think?"

Maura put down her notes and grabbed the paper to see a messy looking "Jane Rizzoli" scrawled down in large letters.

"I know what you're thinking. Not great. But honestly my handwriting wasn't much better than that to start with. My mother called it completely illegible in high school."

Maura almost felt her eyes brimming with tears. "Oh, Jane. It's magnificent!"

She looked up to find Jane sheepishly smiling back.

"Ahh it's not that impressive. Took me an entire week."

"Do one for me."

"What?"

Maura handed her a piece of paper and a pen.

"Go on. Please."

Jane smiled and hunkered down. Leaning down, with her lip sticking slightly out of the corner of her mouth in concentration, she slowly began to write "Dr. Maura Isles, M.D."

Maura clasped her hands in delight.

"I love it!" Maura leaned the paper against the lamp on her desk so that it faced her. "This must mean you're close to being administered your gun again."

Jane nodded happily. "Yep, Stephanie thinks in another two weeks. One if I actually do my homework."

"What does she have you working on this week?"

"it's a - um... partner activity. I basically need someone to push and pull against me to strengthen my grasp. There are these three different exercises..."

"Show me?"

Jane shifted her weight awkwardly. "Alright... you'll have to come over here."

Maura pushed off of her chair and crossed to the front of her desk, now leaning against it. Jane felt her eyes rake up and down Maura's body. Was this woman even real? It was like working with Jessica Rabbit. Today she was wearing an all black ensemble; probably her most common look, Jane realized as she cycled through the doctor's clothing for the past two weeks. Today was a black dress with leather detailing along the sleeves and hemline of the dress. Jane had to willfully force herself to look away.

"Okay. What should I do?"

Maura held her hands out, awaiting further instruction. Jane informed her to stick two fingers out. Jane grasped them and told Maura to pull Jane's hands towards herself on Jane's count.

"Ready? Go."

Jane pulled Maura's hands towards her, only to find out that Maura was only giving back about ten percent. Due to the lack of resistance, Jane ended up pulling Maura off the desk and, in her heels, Maura stumbled forward into Jane's chest.

"Oh!" Maura exclaimed as she regained her footing. She paused for a moment, her forehead right in the crook of Jane's neck. She stepped back, blushing, realizing she may have hesitated for a moment too long.

Jane laughed. "Sorry, sorry. You've got to actually pull this time. Give me at least eighty percent."

Flustered, Maura pushed her hair out of her face and pushed her shoulders back. "Sorry, I was just worried..." She found herself trailing off, afraid she would offend Jane. "I'll do better this time, I swear."

Jane smiled and held out her hands. "Ready?"

Before Jane could say "Go," Maura's phone rang.

Giving Jane an apologetic look, Maura reached around the desk to grab her phone.

"Dr. Isles."

Jane watched Maura as she listened. She loved reading her facial expressions. For someone who'd been deemed the Queen of the Dead, she was quite expressive. Jane loved how her forehead would wrinkle in frustration. Or how her eyes would widen in surprise. And that god damn dimple...

Maura hung up the phone and immediately moved to sit in her desk chair.

Trying to hide her disappointment, Jane asked if it was related to their case.

"Yes, but it doesn't make any sense. We hadn't considered..." Maura lost herself in thought. "Unless..."

"Care to bring me in?"

"The residue found on his palms was polyethylene resin... it's an adhesive. Found in duct tape, gripping tape, a number of other-"

"Gripping tape? Lacrosse teams use that. Players tape up their sticks to keep their hands from callousing." Jane shook her head in frustration. "Lakeview High has a lacrosse team. I saw them practicing when we found the body. I bet the coach has access to the school grounds after hours!"

Jane started heading out the door.

"Wait, Jane, where are you going?"

"To the lacrosse field. Maybe I can sneak into the locker room."

"It's so late! You can't go alone."

"Well Frost is finishing up on his last case with Tanner, so it looks like I'll have to."

"No. I'm coming with you," Maura said, grabbing her keys and phone.

Laughing, Jane shook her head. "What are you going to go to do? Hit him over the head with your Prada shoes?"

"They're McQueen. And you need back up. You're going in unarmed."

"Maura, I think it'll be fine."

Maura had already made her way to the door. "Are you coming?"

Jane groaned and followed her out the door.

"You are impossible, you know that right?"

* * *

"Are you sure we can be back here? Don't you need a warrant or something?"

Jane rolled her eyes and dragged Maura (who was still crouching as if waiting for someone to jump out) across the locker room threshold.

"Who says I'm here as a detective? Maybe I'm interested in sending my child here." Jane turned towards Maura with her best snobby voice, "He is first in his class, after all."

Maura laughed and cautiously stepped forward.

"What exactly are we looking for?"

"Anything. I'm hoping the," Jane paused as she pushed against the coach's office door, and sighed in defeat at the locked door, "coach's office is open."

Maura watched Jane's eyes scan across the room. She found it amazing that Jane could search for clues when she had no idea what to look for. Maura needed rules. Expected outcomes. She looked across the locker room blankly. Where should she even start?

She watched Jane saunter over to the lockers on the other side of the room, muttering something that sounded like "fucking private school."

"Do you see the size of these lockers? You could fit like three bodies in here."

Maura walked over to examine, frowning slightly. Three seemed awfully generous.

"Ha even the nerds must be happy here. Huge locker to get shoved into!"

"I very much doubt-"

Maura felt Jane grab her arm as they heard voices quickly approaching. Maura felt her hair stand on end as she met Jane's eyes.

"What do we do?"

"Don't worry, I'll just say you're a prospective parent."

"What! Why me?"

"Maura, look at how we're dressed. No one going to believe me."

Maura felt her pulse quicken. "No, no. We need to get out of here. I can't lie."

"What do you mean you can't lie?"

"Jane, please," Maura said panic-stricken, as the sound of the voices grew louder. "We have to get out of her. You don't have your gun!"

Jane grabbed Maura by the hand as she pulled her towards the door, only to quickly pull her back as they heard shuffling in the incoming hallway.

"C'mon," Jane voice was barely above a whisper in her ear. Maura felt her body shudder.

Before she had a moment to process what was going on, she felt Jane pull the two of them into an open locker, shutting the door as the voices entered the locker room.

It sounded like three young men were talking, but Maura couldn't concentrate enough to pay attention to anything being said. Jane's assumption that three people could fit was grossly overestimated. Maura couldn't turn her head straight without her nose bumping into Jane's chin. She could feel Jane's breathing in her ear. Her arm was caught behind Jane's back, and when she tried to move it, Jane whispered, "Don't move."

Maura held her breath. Was it possible the men outside could hear her heart hammering through her chest? Certainly Jane must be able to. Maura was thankful for the darkness, knowing she must be flushed from head to toe. She bit her lip, willing her body to control itself.

The voices dissipated and the door to the locker room shut. Maura felt Jane's body relax, causing her chest and left leg to lean further against Maura. Maura attempted to stifle her quick intake of breath.

"Are you alright? Did I snag you?"

Jane's voice tingled in her ear.

"No, no," Maura stammered. "I'm alright."

Jane pushed against the locker room door.

"Shit. It's locked. Why wouldn't they use a Masterlock like every other school?"

Gasping, Maura asked, "What are we going to do?"

"Got a bobby pin?"

Maura nodded. "In my hair. It's just that I can't-" Maura struggled to prove her point, "My arm's stuck."

"Here."

She felt Jane shift, causing her entire body to stiffen as more of Jane's weight fell upon her. Jane snaked her arm around and brought it up to Maura hair. She felt Jane brush the hair back from her shoulder, causing goose bumps to erupt.

"Okay, let me know if this hurts," Jane whispered as she slowly began to pull the pin out of Maura's hair. Jane's voice this low was so scratchy. It was practically a growl.

"We're going to have to shift over so I can reach the lock."

Maura felt Jane delicately move her over, her arms threading around Maura's waist in order to reach. After a few tense moments, in which Maura was sure she didn't breathe once, they heard the tell-tale sign of the click of a lock. The door swung open and the both clumsily fell out apologizing.

As Maura smoothed out her dress, she noticed Jane opening and closing her fists.

"Are you okay?"

Jane grimaced, but nodded. "Yeah, think I wore out my fine motor skills with that one. Don't think I need to practice for the rest of the week."

Maura wanted to reach out and console her, but before she could dwell on it, she saw Jane turn towards her and grin.

"Did you hear all that? I think we just got a motive. Now I just need to prove the coach was there at the time of the murder."

Maura stood stock still. She had missed the entire conversation. All she could remember was that Jane smelled like lavender. It was unexpected. Maura averted her eyes and bit the side of her lip to keep herself from smiling. She wanted to know more.

* * *

**A/N:** Paying homage to a scene from Lost. Just wanted to do something fun before we got into the thick of it. After this, Maura realizes she needs to confront her feelings.

Thank you so much for the follows! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support and feedback!


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